Artist: 50 Pence Album: Get Rich Or Claim Benefit Song: P.I.N.T. Typed by: ÇexyÇy * This track is a parody of the 50 Cent track "P.I.M.P." from the album "Get Rich or Die Tryin'" I don't know what you heard about me But you aint getting a Smirnoff for free You can sit yourself on my knee But keep your hands off my P-I-N-T I don't know what you heard about me But you aint getting a Smirnoff for free You can sit yourself on my knee But keep your hands off my P-I-N-T Now Sharon, she's in the pub, she's pulling the pints And pulling the punters if she thinks the price is right She's into nuts and gin with slimline tonic She plucked out her eyebrow and drew a line on it I don't buy her a drink I just get her some pork scratchings Keep her off my pint 'cause I think her wart's catchin (urgh) It's pub quiz night and she's bad for my health She asked me 21 questions and they're all about herself (what?) She likes my hair she likes my car she's in the Daily Sport I don't understand a single word 'cause she comes from York I'm not that bloke that's only tryin'a get her into bed (nope) I'm that bloke that's only tryin 'cause I'm off my head (yep) We can leave now if you're starting to get bored We'll take the bus home 'cause my Nova's not insured Look love its simple if your sitting with me Sip your drink but don't touch my P-I-N-T (ha-ha-ha) I don't know what you heard about me (yeah!) But you aint getting a Smirnoff for free You can sit yourself on my knee But keep your hands off my P-I-N-T Bur-Bur-Bur-Bur-Burn Unitttttttttt! F-I-F-T-Y Pence that's me I work in the burn unit infirmary NHS pension 'til I'm sixty three And you know that I'm representing Kings Langley F-I-F-T-Y Pence that's me I'm a nature loving geezer you can find me in the tree I'm accidently known and locally accepted (get off my pint!) So now you know about me Yeah love got my Reebok Classics on, I'm about to show you why my pint hand is quite strong You're not wrong if you think I've got a lazy eye It's 'cause I had a mishap with a Steak and Kidney pie I down a pint the same way I down a glass of water I swear I didn't know this bird was the landlord's daughter Burn - U - N - I - Tizzy I bumped my head and now I'm feeling dizzy I've got people in Watford that know how I get down Got a bird in Hemel, a few mates in town I've got a job in McDonalds and I'm not messing around I've got a Big Mac, McFlurry's and a quarter pound-errr (ha-ha-ha) Just put it on my tab Pick up a doner at Millennium Kebab For closin time And about the fighting I've got a beer proof vest to avoid the pinting...pinting... I don't know what you heard about me But you aint getting a Smirnoff for free You can sit yourself on my knee (yeah) But keep your hands off my P-I-N-T I don't know what you heard about me (ha-ha) But you aint getting a Smirnoff for free You can sit yourself on my knee But keep your hands off my P-I-N-T OUTRO: - Yeah Now in Hollywood they say there's no business like show business Well in the pub, Dave said "There's no business like the dough business" He's a baker See if I talk really fast I sound like a prat but if you listen real fast I don't gotta slow down Haha Yeah