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Artist: Rapper Big Pooh
Album:  Fat Boy Fresh, Vol. 3: Happy Birthday, Thomas
Song:   My Homegirl Friend
Typed by:

"My craziest birthday memory has to be when.. 
 I went out for my homegirl's birthday 
 Don't remember ANYTHING about the club, cause we had entirely too much Jack Daniels
 But all I remember is the next morning I wake up
 and I have red streaks goin from my neck down to my chest
 So I'm like 'Yo, what the hell happened?!' So I take a picture
 And I send it to, like two of my homeboys and my homegirls
 And I'm like, 'Yo, what the hell happened to me last night?'
 I was like, 'Yo, did y'all let me get into a fight or something?'
 So next thing I know, I get a call from my homegirl
 And she's just DYIN LAUGHING and she was like 
 'Yo, you don't remember what happened last night?"
 So, next thing I know, in the group chat, like I get these pictures
 of where our homegirlfriend was like, tryin to like, kiss all up on my face
 Like, she was like kiss all up on my neck
 like straight tryin to take advantage of me and I'm just lookin so helpless
 And I was like 'Yo!' I was like 'Y'all gon' let this girl like take advantage of me!
 Y'all supposed to be my friends!' And they was just laughing so damn hard
 Next thing I know I get a video of like ol' girl in the club
 like tryin to dance all up on me, like tryin to pop her stuff all in my face
 I was like 'Yo!' I'm like 'That's fucked up!' I was like 'I'm drunk!
 And y'all just let this girl sit here and try to take advantage of me!'
 Yo, by far that is the CRAZIEST birthday expereince I've ever had!"