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Album: Danny Is Dead
Song: Press Conference
Typed by: firstname.lastname@example.org
Good evening ladies and gentleman
I've called this press conference today
To address a number of questions
That I'm sure a lot of you have of me
Uh, yes I'm signed to Def Jux now
Uh, yes I went to the Grammys last year
Ummmm, no I don't get a lot of love
Outside of the two or three people that know about me
Now that that's out of the way
I'd like to address anybody that's got any questions...ummm...
Yes, you in the three-piece?
"I purchased your first three albums
But how do I find your beat CDs?"
Beats me; of course you COULD start down Limewire Avenue
Turn east on Kazaa Street and beep the horn at the main center
And tell 'em D. Swain sent ya
"Is it true you went to the Grammmys
Off of the strength of 'Charm'?"
Yes, I just extended my arm
I looked and saw my name on the ballot
But not enough votes were gained or tallied
Sad story, should've been nominated
For the "Overlooked MC" category
"Did you really get expelled for making 11 G's
Changing student's grades from F's to B's?"
Umm, next question please
"Hey yo Dan I'm your biggest fan but listen man
I'm tryin' to be like you! What's your secret to success?"
Jesus, sleep and sex
Next? Yes, you in the orange blazer
"I think you shouldn't joke on your views of our Lord and Savior"
Who's jokin' homie? My relationship with God is great
Although I did exaggerate: I haven't had sex since '98
[Chorus: *scratches by Danny!*] - 2X
"Split second I'm answering all questions..." - Ms. Jade
"N-n-niggas don't know but they front and don't ask..." - Mos Def
"...ya-ya-ya-ya need to ask me" - The Notorious B.I.G.
"It's the questions, c'mon..." - Common
"What happened, thought you was managed by some lady at Sony?"
You know some ladies are phony, they try to play a jabroni
Homie I, might've jumped the gun but she could've called me
No hard feelings here but she's probably tryin' to blackball me, damn
"Well how do you feel about it?"
I'm gonna keep it real: I doubt it made a major difference
Ain't like I'm what the game's been missin'
Booth-attacker, wack producer/rapper, slash attempted hacker
Nah, I wouldn't have sold; my record would've went fools' gold
"Well what about the Def Jux deal now?"
I hope that it goes well so please wish me the best of luck for real now
Scared to put my future into somebody else's hands with somebody else's plans
Damn, somebody help this man
"Do you wanna get signed or don't you?"
Only if the money's right
My money's tight, I beg for table scraps on every Sunday night
But I ain't Marmaduke or Scooby-Doo, I paid a lot of Scooby dues
So Scooby Dooby Don't you try to screw me, dude
"Why come yo' name never gets mentioned?"
The game is payin' attention but dang
I think I'm goin' insane listenin
To the pub these others rappers get
My album made the Grammy shortlist, but I guess nobody gave a shit
"Well what'cha gonna do about it?"
Either take another breather
Or just take consumers hostage, brandishin' my mother's heater
Lead 'em into my basement, my cassette tape taped to their hands
And stand on a box and scream at 'em ("take this!")
"How come you and so-and-so ain't never collaborate?"
I'd love to elaborate, but maybe next Saturday, I don't
Hate 'em, I just sour-grapes 'em; takes a man to keep it movin'
Keep pursuin' my dreams, elitists keep on snoozin'
"You think you'll ever get the props you feel you deserve?"
Before that, I'll probably fuck around and join the Reserves
Or enlist in the French Legion, sit on the bench with heathens
Heavin' smoke from a peace pipe before niggas say "D's tight"
Yes, you in the back?
"I think what you're doing is wack
In fact this track'll never get burn
This conference has taken a nasty turn"
Um, please put your statement in the form of a question
Four minutes left in this informative session
Any more need addressin'? Didn't think so