Artist: Eminem Album: Revival Song: Offended Typed by: Nickolye16@aol.com [Eminem] You claim if you get knocked by the cops you'll give 'em not even a statement Walk in the arraignment, shoot the bailiff, karate kick the plaintiff Gotti with the stainless, I'll just call it shotty/shoddy entertainment If y'all was in the party gettin faded on molly, had the audience sedated You wouldn't catch a body if it fainted, probably let it fall and hit the pavement But you'd be the first lobbyin to claim it, bitch stop bein a lame Your hobby isn't robbery and dismemberin body limbs, like you was Tommy Lynn Sells and chainsawing them in the basement, hardly fits your job description, ain't nobody dippin out the back the club like, "Oh my God, he's trippin!" Only time you get the blade is probably with the dang lawn equipment, ain't it? Wouldn't take a bobby pin and wave it ... I need to stop bein debated You're still copyin, xeroxing, I'm still coppin a feel like Bill Cosby at will, poppin a pill, then spill Oxys in Jill's coffee Then send her out to the hotel lobby a lil' wobbly and still groggy This blonde fuck's reprehensible misconducts Never sensible, kiss my butt, my set of principles is gone but 'til I get the President to respond my, pen and pencil is a missile launcher And send it to Mitch McConnell, just as big of a bitch as Donald, shit's on bruh! Let me sing this shit soprano while I do it pizzicato Ivanka, stiff arm her, while I'm hittin on Melania And this song's for all ya! [Chorus: Eminem] Cause nobody likes me, everybody hates me They want me to go eat some worms (I hope you offended) And drag my name through the mud, through the dirt But I'ma make you eat your words (I hope you offended) You can try to hold me down, but you better let me up Cause you're only gonna make things worse (I hope you offended) Cause I swear when I get up, I'm never gonna let up 'til everybody eats my turds [Eminem] These drums and hard snares bring out the worst in me, like Justin Ross Harris at a nursery Goin ham at candied yam on nanny-cam, I'm gettin handys with the zanny Xannys in the Caddy armrest, I'm imagining objects, so I'm batting cobwebs from a daddy long-leg In Hamtramck, got the panoramic camera, Xanax, a banana hammock and a Santa hat, I'm smellin like a damn mechanic, with a chick that looks like Janet Jackson with a Spanish accent, twice your age and I'm, actin half it (haha) ... Grow up? Nah, not that I know of, y'all Basement just got a frickin overhaul, got a stripper pole installed Started rollin all through those Kolonopins like a bowling ball Like an overdose on twice the ratio of Propofol and go through no withdrawal While I get fellatio and give a facial to an interracial blow-up doll of Rachel Dolezal, you're so appalled/a-Paul'd (Em) So's my manager, bitch I am mature/amateur, fuck a pro career Coast is clear, but nowhere to go from here And nobody's close so don't compare, they ain't nowhere near, I'm way over here My competition can't see me... cause I don't own a mirror! "But Marshall, you are terrific, so smart and gifted" I'm so narcissistic, when I fart I sniff it, do a fake dab to smell my armpits with it Your anxiety's throwin gang signs, but I made strides with these rape lines I'm cuttin back on women hate crimes, like Ray Rice when he FaceTimes Bang bang bang bang time, dang knives are butcher than gay wives You're gonna need sutures the same size as the blade I push in to kaput ya when I, pull 'em like, sleigh rides Gotta stab a, bitch at least eight times to make it on "Dateline" I came to stake/steak my claim like a canine waitin in a buffet line So Kellyanne Conway, I'm a really bad hombre, come play Belly dance on me, I've been making wedding plans all day [Chorus] [Eminem] 8-year-old with the wordplay, girl, take this pole/poll like a survey Today wasn't my birthday but I'm, caked up like a dessert tray So we're in shape, cause you're in a slurrin state I'm a ten, you're-an-eight/urinate, like what I do before, after and during RAAAA- You wanna get into a pissin contest and, find out who's better? And they made a fool out of what I pulled out him, R. Kelly with a full bladder Non-high school grad, I'm not a scholar but I'm so cold when I'm droppin knowledge My degrees is the same as I got in college (zero) but nobody's hotter You owe me my respect, I owe you nada like a Lodi partner, blow me, told you I'm so dirty homie You can throw me in some holy water with some floaties on and get the soap and try to get the Pope to hold me while you hose me off, and nope I won't be washed, you hope to God I don't explode I gotta blow this spot up though, I got a lotta mo', I won't put the sugar coating on it though Cause sometimes you can feel like your energy's expired, rap's got you drained, dead tired, zapped, you feel like a wet pile of crap But look man, like the Feds buggin my phone (uh-huh) I get wire/why you're tapped But you gotta get your fire back, catch fire, get upset and fire BACK is what I tell myself, when times get bad Cause sometimes I might get sad, well I take the same advice I had And tell myself like I used to tell Hailie, when life's a drag Told her to do like her dad - don't cry, get mad! Cause little baby pouters/powders belong in diaper bags I'm hype but by the time you see this side of me, I'm right in your ass (sodomy!) 'Fore the pen I stood up for the kid who had to put up with the bullies at his school (at his school) You ain't have to have no money or go shoppin just to cop a fuckin attitude (attitude) Now my dough's amountin to a mountain, it's rised too high to count it Never asked to be rich, all I did was wish I had a dime for every time that I was doubted But then I think about it and I'm enraged, cause I just figured out that if I was paid for the time I spent to put the pen to the page, it'd be minimum wage But it's embedded in my head, I never hunted for the bread and butter What I wanted was to be the one that they was scared of but I'm never gonna get the credit for the sweat and blood I put up in the pen, and when I'm dead I wonder will they put me on a pedestal or forget I was ever this incredible I guess I better go harder than ever cause I'll never get another motherfuckin opportunity again to offend as many people with this I can simply, because I, can [Chorus]