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Artist: Jaytekz
Album:  Soul Searching (S)
Song:   Soul Searching
Typed by: AZ Lyrics

So much weight on my chest
I feel so alone
don't know how to express
the stress in my heart
the wounds in my soul
The past is the past
but I can't let it go
and it breaks me
I swear this shit fucking breaks me
I'm desperate
can somebody come and save me?
Cause lately I've been close to the fuckin' edge
so many suicidal thoughts in my fucking head
I'm so depressed and I feel ashamed
popping pills everyday so I don't feel the pain
but I don't say shit
I don't ever say shit
cause every time I try it's like I hear the same shit
you gon' be just fine
you just gotta give it time
find your peace of mind."
But you don't understand the tears that I shed
sometimes I just cry only wishing I was dead
And I'm sorry
I'm truly sorry for the way I feel
I'm so lost in my dreams don't know what is real
This poetry is all I have when I feel deprived
I grab my pad and my pen
and I feel revived
I can't decide what the fuck am I here for
I'm doing what I love but my heart's still sore
I still battle with depression on a daily
I see my own reflection
and I swear I fuckin' hate me
I said I swear I fuckin' hate me
Got a big heart
but my heart's slowly breaking
Chasing all my dreams
but I don't know where it's gon' take me
Tired of being broke
gotta start acting shady
Making dirty money
this shit is so degrading
know I'm sorry for this route in which I'm taking
I ain't fuckin' proud of these decisions that I'm making
but I'm desperate for some answers
why my heart is always aching
If you hear me Lord
talk to me
all the sins from my past have been haunting me
I'm so scared of the future so I stay stuck broken into pieces
my spirits all taped up
I came up
but it feels like I'm coming down
Pool full of liquor
swim 'til I fuckin' drown
That's the only way I know how to crack a smile
taking shots 'til I vomit and I'm passing out..
When I'm sober
I just feel afraid
I don't know if I'ma live to see another day
I'm tryin' to stand but I feel like I'm about to cave
I'm so trapped in my mind like a fuckin' slave
So much weight on my chest
got me feeling tired
Plague in my soul
swear it's like a wildfire
like a wildfire spreading everywhere
Take a look into my eyes
see the pain
there's plenty there
See the pain
there's plenty there
I don't know if they really care
Where is love is it anywhere? And if it is
it's really rare
Can a broken heart be repaired?
Can a broken heart be repaired?
Can you tell me all I need to know
Or is it lost in our own despair?
Can you tell me all I need to know
Can you tell me all I need to know
or is it lost in our own despair?