Artist: MC Lars
Album:  Lars Attacks!
Song:   Lars Attacks!
Typed by: OHHLA Webmaster DJ Flash

[Intro]
{You're on the air, hello}
Area, Area 51
{Were you an employee or are you now?}
Uh I, a former employee {former employee}
I was let go on a medical discharge about a week ago
Umm Dave, I don't know where to start
They're uh, uhh... they're gonna, um
They'll triangulate on this position really really soon

[MC Lars]
I landed in the forest in a '94 Taurus
Two thousand light years from my planet Lars Horris
Came dizzy out the craft, head spinning, legs akimbo
MC phoned home but couldn't get a signal
Lost on Earth with a broken hovercraft
a head full of raps, and a super rough draft
of a Reason 4.0 beat that I couldn't finish
Quit it for a minute, still in the game to win it
Your brother knows me, he saw me on the news
The FBI is sweating, the cults all say it's true
Before I landed in your city and I started melting faces
I was up on Cygnus, working on my spaceship
Earth is not my home but I guess I'll stay
I really couldn't find a Martian sublet anyway
Back with a ginormous space laser on my back
with my finger on the trigger, city setting set to flat

[Chorus]
I came to chew gum and I came to kick raps (LARS ATTACKS, LARS ATTACKS)
But I'm all out of gum so now Lars attacks (LARS ATTACKS, LARS ATTACKS)
I came to smash houses and I came to rock tracks (LARS ATTACKS, LARS ATTACKS)
Now this block's been demolished so Lars attacks (LARS ATTACKS, LARS ATTACKS)

[MC Lars]
You don't know me from Adam, Xenu or Bender
E.T. or Weezy or Roger, remember
Just like a giant octopus I got for your esophagus
I've kicked it with Egyptians and I've chilled in a sarcophagus
Stonehenge, Roswell, the Aztecs, the Mayans
Crop circles, cattle mutilations, Easter Island
That was me (HOLLA~!) But I don't regret it
They sold a lot of tabloids now it's out because I said it
Don't let it get to you, because I ate your goldfish
Cause I burned your house down, took your cat and sold it
This is hardcore alien hip-hop
Goin on 10 years, not about to stop
Watch the Milky Way collapse like a Carl Sagan nightmare
Stephen Hawking's texting me I'm floating like Buzz Lightyear
To infinity, beyond and back, bought the t-shirt
Got Wall-E in my rearview telling me his knees hurt
What?! No we didn't have sex!
Wall-E's a robot so we can't have sex!

[Chorus]
I came to meet Jodi and make "Contact" (LARS ATTACKS, LARS ATTACKS)
But SETI crashed my Mac, so Lars attacks (LARS ATTACKS, LARS ATTACKS)
I came to rep the Bay, and kick it with The Pack (LARS ATTACKS, LARS ATTACKS)
But space men aren't hyphy, so Lars attacks!! (LARS ATTACKS, LARS ATTACKS)

[radio show nutjob]
Umm, okay, well what we're thinking of
as as aliens are, there, uhh, there extra-dimension beings
that an earlier precursor of the space program made contact with
Uhh, they they are not what they claim to be
Uhh, they have infiltrated a lot of uhh, uhh
Uh a lot of aspects of of the military establishment
Particularly the Area 51, uhh
The disasters that are coming, they, ah uhhh
The militar - uhh, I'm sorry
The government knows about them
And, there's a lot of safe areas in this world that
they could begin, moving the population to, NOW

[Chorus]
I came to chew gum and I came to kick raps (LARS ATTACKS, LARS ATTACKS)
But I'm all out of gum so now Lars attacks (LARS ATTACKS, LARS ATTACKS)
I came to smash cities and I came to rock tracks (LARS ATTACKS, LARS ATTACKS)
Godzilla's on vacation, so Lars attacks (LARS ATTACKS, LARS ATTACKS)

[Outro: repeat 2X]
(LARS ATTACKS)
(LARS ATTACKS, LARS ATTACKS)

[MC Lars]
Lars attacks, ha ha ha HAHAHAHA
Run for cover