Artist: Starbomb Album: The Tryforce Song: A Boy and His Boat Typed by: AZ Lyrics [Egoraptor (as Link)] Hey, it's Link. I'm back, and I'm sailing on a ship [Danny Sexbang (as the King of Red Lions)] I'm the King of Red Lions! [Egoraptor] Yo, I don't give a shit If there's one thing I've learned from years of saving this land It's all I really need is a sword and shield in my hand [Danny Sexbang] But look over there, that sign says "Beware"! "A giant pit no one can jump you can't fly through the air"! You'll need a special item to get through that moat But what do I know, right? I'm just a fucking boat! [Egoraptor] Fuck, alright. Shit, okay I can maybe pick up one or two things on my way But as far as I'm concerned, all I need is "sword play" [Danny Sexbang] Shut your fucking elf mouth and take my items, okay? Your quest is long, and the road is tough The path is dark, you're gonna need a shitload of stuff No lives are spared, you better be prepared Moblin fangs and a boomerang And a cloth to shield that nasty wang! From Majora's mask to an empty flask Here's what you need to complete your task! [Egoraptor] A bow and arrow, nice, and a skeleton key! And a second place trophy from a local spelling bee? A candle with the handle, and a single Velcro sandal Is this an old court order for a drug related scandal? [Danny Sexbang] No... [Egoraptor] Hey boat, all these items hurt my back, its a lot! [Danny Sexbang] Pop a Tylenol, you bitch, you've got 87 slots! Here's a hammer that can break any kind of rock that it hits [Egoraptor] Oh! [Danny Sexbang] And a pair of full-size studio drum kits! [Egoraptor] Ugh! [Danny Sexbang] A giant used Q-tip A really small cruise ship [Egoraptor] A parent's signature for a Disneyland school trip?! [Danny Sexbang] Documents that prove the moon landing was a hoax [Egoraptor] And a legendary sacred hidden Golden Tome Of Fart Jokes! [Danny Sexbang] This Wind Waker lets you control the air And this sit maker is a really comfortable reclining chair! The road is long, you must protect that schlong Noble stallions and great medallions You're a bigger deal than plumbing Italians! Sour-dough, a herd of buffalo Just a few more things and you're ready to go! [Egoraptor] Your grandma's glass eyeball [Danny Sexbang] 80-pounds of drywall [Egoraptor] And every single item from the March issue of Skymall? [Danny Sexbang] A vegan pasta maker [Egoraptor] The wrestler "Undertaker"? [Danny Sexbang] An odd number of crutches and a family of Quakers [Egoraptor] A basket of muffins [Danny Sexbang] A turkey with the stuffin' [Egoraptor] A pillow that needs fluffin'? [Danny Sexbang] A society of puffins! [Egoraptor] A fresh unopened box of raised-quality potato sacks [Danny Sexbang] 46 copies of "The Jerk" on Betamax! [Egoraptor] It's getting kinda heavy... [Danny Sexbang] I don't care, here's a Chevy! And the Wacky World of Minigolf Starring Eugene Levy! [Egoraptor] Oh my god I absolutely cannot carry one more thing! [Danny Sexbang] Don't you worry, all that's left is this single piece of string Woah...you see? This is exactly why I also packed a spinal surgeon [Egoraptor] ...I hate you, boat