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Artist: Sudden Death
Album:  Brain Dead
Song:   Do You Piss in the Shower?
Typed by:

I was walkin' through the mall headin' to the record store 
Gonna buy a new tape that came out the day before 
Halfway there when I got a big scare 
There's a guy with a clipboard scratching his hair 
With a pencil, he's a Mall-Cockroach 
And his face lit up when h saw me approach 
I didn't even look at him I tried to hide 
And I gradually wandered to the mall's other side 
A guided missile couldn't catch me as fast 
As this guy did as I tried to walk past 
Pushed his face in mine and said "Excuse me sir, 
May I have a few minutes of your time for a survey?" 
My first thought was to bash in his skull with a brick 
And then get out of there quick 
But there's witnesses around, they would see him goin' down 
And the last thing I need is to be sent downtown 
So I told him make it quick, do it short and to the point 
I had to keep a gynecologist appointment 
I really just didn't want to be there for an hour 
Then he turned to me and said, Do you piss in the shower? 
Uhhh, I didn't know what to say 
I was expecting an important question from the survey 
Maybe something about AIDS for an intelligent discussion 
Not a meaningless remark about a bodily function 
He was serious and I was shocked 
I just stuttered for a minute, I was in a mental block 
Then he informed me that the government was payin' 
To see how much urine was goin' down the drain 
Just one of many studies that the government endows 
Like how many gay seagulls and how many farting cows 
Who really cares? So I said I'm gonna go 
My piss is my business so you're never gonna know 
But this is a real problem, we gotta try and fix it 
Homelessness is caused by too many people pissin' 
The theory makes sense and it's really quite frightening
I said, you're on drugs, but please, enlighten me 
Gladly, scientists last year found 
That urine from the shower drain leaks into the ground 
It gets into the water that everybody drinks 
Then it messes with their mind so the people can't think 
They start takin' drugs all day and night 
Then they lose their job 'cause they don't do it right 
No job, no money, no home 
This is a serious problem we can't leave alone 
He seemed to want to make a career about piss 
And I couldn't believe he was serious about this 
So I walked away, I needed out of that place 
But he turned and got right in my face 
I got a weird felling kinda like heartburn 
'Cause this guy was more attached to me than a tapeworm 
I'm positive this guy would have followed me home 
I said get out of my face and leave my urine alone 
I pushed him away and wiped his spit off my chest 
He said You're not gonna answer? Surely you jest 
I said yeah, I jest, I jest oughtta kill you 
Ask me again and some blood will be spilled 
Do you piss in the shower?  Boom, that's that 
Bashed his face against the wall a few times now it's flat 
And with his very last gasp of air he said 
Do you piss in the shower?, so I pissed on his head