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Artist: Chino XL
Album:  RICANstruction: The Black Rosary
Song:   Father's Day
Typed by: 

[Chino XL]
Yeah; question, why are we on the fourth floor?
I asked her mother but we both are unsure yet
This is where the doctor said that we should go
Holdin my child, she's 10 months old - the hospital was so cold
Definitely ruinin all our holiday plans of beach sands
Fillin out some bland paperwork with shaky hands (lost)
Seein little children stricken with a certain sickness
Clutch my baby a little tighter, reflect of nervous feelings
A whole hour passed, we startin to lose patience
Humbled by the thoughts of patients lost in this situation (what's goin on?)
Here comes a nurse, not knowin that we should fear the worst
See the doctor's mouth movin, couldn't even hear the words
This isn't happenin to you, I'm like Superman
And I could protect you from anything, I was really scared (serious)
I realized what I heard but not prepared for
The sentence that the doctor said, "Your daughter has cancer"

[Chorus: Chino XL]
I will take my life right now
If you would save my child
I'd change my life for hers
This is my solemn vow (I swear)
No more chemo in her veins
And no more screams of pain (I pray)
This is a father's shame
that I can't save you from everything

[Chino XL]
Okay, I gotta man up
It hit me so hard that I could barely stand up (my world stopped)
Then the flowers and balloons and the cards came
Prayers many hours, knees bruised all in God's name (hurt so much)
If only my feeble hands
could remove this neuroblastoma tumor from your adrenal glands (helpless)
Why you? Why now? It didn't feel fair
Your grandma shed tears, you lost your hair
It's unbelievable little Bella was that strong
And inconceivable we lived in the hospital that long (forever)
Protectin your immune system from contaminants
You had to wear a medical mask, can't give my kid a kiss (imagine)
I learned to envision your face growin gettin older
Envisioned you drivin your first car and gettin your diploma
Envisioned your wedding, your husband better be a soldier
A little girl sick like you died two rows over (Eva)


[Chino XL]
Chemotherapy made Christmas hard to process
I fed the family faith hopin it'd make their fears starve to death
Your momma's tough, prayed to Saint Jude's that it's a bad dream
But couldn't be, I'm speakin to doctor and not Epstein (reality)
I remember the cries, remember the meals
fed through tubes, pullin the red wagon the sound of the plastic wheels
Kind of a metaphor for pullin through this ordeal
I pray my enemies never even have to know how this feels (hurts)
But forget our feelings, doesn't matter, you're the one sufferin
You couldn't speak a lot yet but it's like your eyes was sayin
"Daddy, if it's an obstacle and price I gotta pay
for a long great life then we'll make it through okay"
The day of your final surgery I still live in that moment
The teddy bear you were holdin, I still own it
I watched the doors closin - February 2, 2004
My little girl is cured...

Hi Daddy, it's me, Bella
I love you soooo much!
Happy Father's Day!

[Chino XL] My God


Joys {*repeat 4X to fade*}